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  • 12/7/19 I've got 3 jokes for you today!!

    How is Drake like an Elf?
    He spends all his time wrapping.

    Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in the hospital?
    He has private elf-care.

    What's the best thing to put on a Christmas Cake?
    Your teeth!
    12/6/19 I've got 4 jokes for you today to make up for missing one yesterday!

    How do Christmas angels greet each other?

    What’s St. Nicholas’s favorite measurement in the metric system?
    The Santameter!

    What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?
    "‘Tis the season to be jelly!”

    What’s Jack Frost’s favorite part of the school day?
    Snow and tell.
    12/5/19 I've got 2 jokes for you today (sorry!)

    What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
    An abdominal snowman

    How does a snowman get to work?
    By icicle
    12/4/19 Ho-Ho-Ho, I got 3 more jo-jo-jokes!!

    Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!

    What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.

    What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An elfcicle!
    12/3/19 It’s the season of giving, so I’m going to give you 3 more jokes :)) Enjoy

    Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
    He had very low elf esteem

    What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?

    Where does Santa keep all his money?
    At the local snow bank!
    12/2/19 I've got 3 more Christmas Jokes for you!!! I promise these jokes will "SLEIGH" you!! (You get a fourth freebie <3)

    What do you call a broke Santa Claus?

    What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

    What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
    12/1/19 Since it’s the official beginning of the Christmas season, I’m gonna have Christmas Jokes for you ALL MONTH LONG!! I got 3 for you today!

    Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday? At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.

    What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May? A puddle!

    Did you know that Rudolph the Reindeer never went to school? He was elf taught.
    11/30/19 I got 2 new jokes for you today
    Q: Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?
    A: It’s much easier than walking

    Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
    A: A stick.
    11/29/19 I’ve got three jokes for you today
    How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

    What's a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
    The trom-bone.

    How do billboards talk?
    Sign language.
    Happy Thanksgiving (Americans) Since it’s Thanksgiving I have a FEW Thanksgiving Themed Jokes :))
    What’s the best song to sing while preparing your Thanksgiving Turkey?
    All About That Baste!

    Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?
    Because he already had drum sticks!

    If April showers bring May flowers, what do
    May Flowers bring?
    “What are these pennies doing in my soup?” the restaurant patron demanded, motioning for the waiter to come over to his table.

    The waiter walked over and whispered, “You said you would stop eating here if there wasn’t some change in the food.”
    So, I’m going to start a little joke of the day. These are going to be bad, corny jokes that you can’t help but laugh at :)

    Q. What did the traffic light say to the car?
    A. “Don’t look I’m about to change”
    Just wanna let you all know, I was at the fair. There was a petting zoo and a kangaroo bit me and I’m scared I might die
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